I graduated from my 4 year university this last April and let me tell you…I don’t really miss it! College was a lot for me (as it is for every college student) but I never really felt like I was super happy while I was there. Now that’s not to say that there weren’t times where I enjoyed myself and the things around me but overall I knew that the experience wasn’t necessarily for me. But I made it to the finish line and for that I am proud of myself for.
Now that some months have passed and school season is back in session I thought I would share some things I learned. I tried to focus on things that I learned from an introvert/anxious girly perspective because let me tell you it made college THAT much harder for me. And I am sure there are others out there who feel the same way so if that is you, you are not alone!
Here’s what I learned:
1. Making friends is hard
This one might be an obvious one but it is completely relevant. Now as an introvert I was not really going out of my way to talk to new people, I just don’t have that in me so that right there made it 10x more difficult. I remember during our week long orientation that people had quite literally already made their friend groups. I was like how is that possible and why am I not in a friend group? Needless to say that after awhile I chose not to let that get the best of me. Instead, realized that I enjoy my own company and the people I already had in my life. 4 years later I came out of college with one lifelong friend and about 3 others who I know I will stay in touch with. And I couldn’t be happier for that!
So basically if you come out with only one really close friend I would say that is an accomplishment and something to be thankful for. There is something to be said about having 1-2 solid lifelong friends in your life. Be grateful for them. 🙂
2. Move off campus
If you have the ability/option to move off campus I highly suggest it! Especially if you feel like you need a break from being on campus all the time. I lived with my roommate (the lifelong friend) off campus for our junior and senior year and it was definitely the best thing for me mentally. I went to school in a city which I loved and the campus was located right downtown so in the middle of everything. Which was great and is not the reason I wanted to get off campus. After awhile living on campus got to be super overwhelming and lonely for me and I didn’t like being on school grounds 24/7. I felt trapped almost and needed a space to breathe…
So for my mental health I moved off campus and found myself being able to breathe again. I felt like I was able to live a life outside of school. Which was huge for me! But basically, moving off campus was life changing for me and made the last two years more bearable and enjoyable. If this sounds like you, living off campus might be something to check out.
3. Some things aren’t worth sacrificing your mental health for
Let me explain. College is mentally draining. I am one of those people who suffer in silence. (If you are the same way, it’s not fun!). So I always tried to keep going even though I was really sad at times. Not. Okay. There were so many times I wouldn’t show up for class because I was either drained, super anxious, catching up on other classes, etc. It was a vicious cycle because I never wanted to miss too many classes because that also made me anxious. But some days I just could not do it. And that’s okay. Don’t be too hard on yourself for taking a day to check in with yourself and do some self care!
Another thing is the amount of classes you are taking. I know depending on where you go to school and your major the amount of credits you take will differ. For me I mostly did 15 credits. Even though for my major I should’ve been taking 18 to stay on track. Truth is, I did one semester of 18 credits and I almost didn’t make it. And I remember being so hard on myself for struggling to keep up. I decided then that taking 6 classes each semester was not going to roll. In order to stay on track I ended up having to take summer classes every single summer (more on that later). All in all, don’t compare how many credits you are taking to someone else. Everyone is different and can handle workload differently. And it is 100% not worth sacrificing your mental health for.
4. Don’t be afraid to have to withdraw/take summer classes/get an extension/etc.
This one kind of branches off from the last one. But basically, it’s okay to have to do these things and in fact, it’s quite normal! College is a bumpy ride and it is perfectly okay to ask for help, to lighten your work load if needed and take a summer class to stay on track. All are valid. College is really hard and we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get everything done in a way that doesn’t make us feel like we aren’t good enough/can’t do it (especially as a super anxious girly!). Ultimately, do what is best for YOU and don’t feel ashamed for it.
5. Some people come out loving and missing college while others might not
Whether you come out loving the last 4 years or not, both are okay. For me, college was not the best years of my life. Now I am thankful for the people I met and the ability to take classes I was truly interested in, but overall, I was anxious a lot, didn’t really feel like I fit in with my school, and the school scene really just was not for me. In the end I felt bad for feeling this way meanwhile everywhere I looked people were SO sad leaving and moving on. I was like…I couldn’t be further away from feeling that! But your life isn’t defined by your college years, you still have your whole life ahead of you :).